What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
dude. I can hear the air.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
