I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
