I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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