wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
