are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
