Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
