He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
