hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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