he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
