I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
