one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Four minutes until I can fart!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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