ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
