Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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