can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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