Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
