Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
