my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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