You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
did i walk over a car last night?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
