woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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