I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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