he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
