i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
