last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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