theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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