He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
