u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
