On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
