called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
