before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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