Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
