What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
love makes seman taste better
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
