I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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