Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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