His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
