He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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