i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
