My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
