chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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