Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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