Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
