All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
