That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
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