I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
