I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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