NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
