there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
