the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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