I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
