So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
