One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
