Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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