I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
