Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
