do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just had sex on a roof
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
