You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
